Sometimes I just wonder how stupid I can be. Really just how many times am I going to tell myself I am going to make changes and then go and sabotage myself the same darn day. So that has happened of course this eek, just like it does every week, I am so darn weak it isn't funny.
But today I am sick of it yeah I know said it before blah blah,,,,,, but I really mean it. On the weekend our beautiful granddaughter came to visit and we were painting with her and my husband took some photos of me and her together, all I see is my ever expanding bloody chin, my fat fingers, like chipolatas and my fat arms and wrists. He says you have to have your photo taken with her I say not like this doesn't he get it!!!!!!!!
So I just have to do this. I hate myself daily, I wake up thinking oh now what am I going to wear today, I look in the mirror and want to scream, and then I go and drink and that makes me put on the weight. I have a drinking problem, probably more than an eating problem. I have to get this sorted out NOW!!!!!!!!!