Making A Stand

I have taken a stand, drawn a line in the sand and I am saying no more.  No more drinking at home and nibbling away to my hearts content.  No more resorting to a drink after a hectic day and then bashing myself senseless the next day.  I told my husband on Monday this is it, I have to lose weight.  I hate the way I look, I hate myself for being weak and blowing it all the time.  This is a time in my life where I should be rejoicing, confident in who I am, living the good life.  Instead I am not looking at myself in the mirror, not buying nice clothes, because I refuse to buy a size 18 and that's the next step for me.  Gawd I was a 8 to 10  as a teen and a 10 - 12 after babies.  Now I am buying an XL or 16 no more okay no more.  So we decided together not to enable each other to drink at home.  We are not even going to drink out this week.  I know is this a blog about eating and losing weight or alcohol consumption, I know, where am I going?  But I so firmly believe that the two for me are linked.  Alcohol makes me chillax, feel free, until the next day, when I am riddled with guilt, then I eat when I am drinking too.  So I have to find out the emotional reasons why I am doing this to myself.  I am addicted to feeling relaxed, chilled, cool, and booze does that for me so I am addicted to booze.  I am also addicted to sabotaging myself, calling myself horrid names, blaming myself for my weakness, all those things to, I must be otherwise I would have lost all this weight when I started this way of eating way back in March this year.  I believe the Primal / Paleo lifestyle will work for me.  I love food and I love to eat and on this plan you can, it's all about cutting out the carbs and making my body consume the fat it is carrying for energy.  

Who wouldn't want to eat this for breakfast and still lose weight?  SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!

So I have crossed the line and I am going to stay committed.  Truly I am.  Oh and I found this brilliant blog to help me with some meals you have to check it out.

Yeah for Week One

This is one of my all time favourites and with this Primal Eating I can have this as much as I like.  Coconut crusted Chicken with Avocado Salsa.  Is your mouth watering?

So okay drum roll......dadadadadadadadadadadadada  Weight Loss for wee One

1.4 kilos 

TA DA!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I am chuffed.  I was surprised actually.  And I am being cautious as last night we went to a neighbours and I drank pink champagne.  Hmm  so I am not looking at the scales till next week and I am hoping I haven't blown it.

Weight at 1st September    88.9kg   weight today 8th September  87.5kg

I am realising how much food is a part of my daily life, in as much as I feel about food, with emotions if that makes sense.  For instance, if I am feeling relaxed and a little laid back I will want to add to that feeling with a nice piece of cake and a coffee.    If I am tired and rushed I want fish and chips or some other greasy kind of food.  I use food to add to or change my feelings.  That is strange when I think about it because food is simply fuel.  It is just needed to keep me running, nothing more nothing less.  Yet I have given it a totally different status in my life.  I'll have to think about that and work through it to see how I can change that.  Making food less a comfort and more just what I need to run properly.

Beginning - again

So here I am again, yes again.  It has been, let's say over 20 years since I have felt good about how I look.  And I have tried every diet I can think of.  None have worked, not for long, not for ever anyway, and to be completely honest I am over it.  So here I am again, trying another diet, no let's not say diet, call it a lifestyle, don't you hate it when they say that? Who are they you ask, well they are the skinny folk, those who have managed to make their diet a lifestyle.  It isn't me.  

But I am making another last ditch effort to lose weight.  At this point in my life I am 51 years old and weigh the heaviest I have ever been a whopping 88.9kg's as of 1st September.  I am a whole 5 feet tall so I feel huge.  My stomach often feels bloated and it looks it too.  My butt is huge and I have a face I cannot even recognise in the mirror anymore.  Where do all those chins come from?  

Just 3 years ago I was no where near this size.  We endured a family tragedy back then and my response was to eat and drink.  I love food, I love wine, I love cocktails and I like all of them often.  So it was with gusto that I went on an eating drinking binge.  Now comes the payoff.  Ouch not nice.

About 4 months ago I came across a photo of a woman on facebook who had lost 20kgs in 6 weeks and with no exercise.  So hey I am all over that.  She had started eating what is known as a Primal diet.  Go here and you will learn all about Primal eating.  So I decided that I would try this way of eating.  And for a brief time it worked.  It made sense to me too, so it was easy to jump on board.  But I like alcohol and that doesn't go so well with this way of eating.  Well not in the quantities that I like to drink anyway. So since then I have been fumbling around trying to sort this out.  Not drinking during the week.  Only drinking on weekends and then only red wine or rum and coke zero. See I had read that there are less carbs in red wine and rum and that if you have to drink soft drink (which I never do by the way) then it has to be no sugar.  So I started drinking coke zero with rum.  Really go figure my logic will ya.  From never drinking soft drinks to drinking them and expecting to lose weight really!!!!!!

A Primal breakfast omelette 

But this is the eating programme I am choosing to go on.  I've done Weight Watcher's, yep I lost a bit and put it back on.  I hate meetings too.  I have tried hitting the gym and when I was in my late 20's it worked, I was really thin, but not now, it isn't what I want to do on a regular basis.  I like to walk and have always walked a lot.  But I have hurt my back somehow and even that is difficult now.  So you can see I am in a pickle, ooh did someone mention food. argh  umm hang on let's get back on track here.  Yes that's right in a pickle, I need to move more but can't do what I need to do to help my weight loss.  I am hoping that writing this blog will make me commit to finally sticking to this way of eating.  I hope it will help me to not have that sneaky mid week wine (insert bottle), I hope it will be a catalyst of change for me.  Join me won't you.